If We Are Lucky

We live in a world

Where no one is ever

Entirely satisfied.

There is always more,

More we could do,

More we could have,

More we could accomplish.

There is always less,

Less time,

Less work,

Less pain.

It’s pointless to complain

About things you can’t change.

It’s ridiculous to think

That we can achieve perfection.

Society is selfish,

Pushing people to the brink,

Telling us not to bully

And then doing nothing.

Teens are getting worse and worse,

And adults are no better.

There are going to be

The good things

And the bad things…

But if we are lucky,

There will ALWAYS be:

Floors to sweep,

Laundry to fold,

Dishes to wash,

Weeds to pull,

Diapers to change,

Grass to water,

And errands to run.

Because if we are lucky,

We will have:

A place to live,

Clothes to wear,

Food to eat,

Work to do,

Family to love,

A place to play,

And a life to live.

So maybe instead of thinking

About all the things we wish

We didn’t have to do,

We should live while we are alive,

And be grateful that we have enough.

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Nightmares…

I woke up crying

The nightmares of

Seeing you die,

Watching you bleed,

Your body broken,

Mandled,

Twisted,

Shattered,

And nothing I could do

To ever bring you back.

Watching them extract you

From a totaled car

Down Ogden Canyon.

The nightmares of

You leaving me

Telling me it was

All a game,

That I was NOTHING.

I’ve been hurt before,

But that was insignigicant

Compared to

How much you could

Hurt me.

Waking up to

A tear-soaked pillow,

Still I sobbed into it,

Wearing your jacket,

And breathing your smell.

I think it’s really love

When you miss someone

So much it makes you sick.

When one word

Could mean anyting to

Someone else, but

Everything between you and your love.

And when you’re gone,

The colors seem just as bright,

The world just as sunny,

The sky as blue and

The night as full of stars.

No… when you’re gone

Those things just don’t

Seem special anymore.

Everything I know has gone flat,

Like champagne without bubbles.

And it’s not the

Nothingness I feel,

But the complete lack of ANYTHING

To fight for.

Fourteen months of

Loving you, so much

It made me cry, so much

I had to force myself to think

About ANYONE else

Because I never thought I could have you.

Fourteen months of hoping

That I can be

Everything that you need.

In two months you’ll be home

And you can be with me.

If I had to,

I’d wait years to wake up

To you again.

And it wouldn’t hurt too much

To have my heart broken by you

If it meant that I

Had once held yours.

About Songs I Love

Every now and then there comes a song that’s not like most other music these days… The chords fall deeper under your skin and the melody dances along your eyelashes as you breathe in rhythm. These are the songs that understand. These are the songs that take the words you can’t find and the questions you’re too afraid to ask and quietly insert themselves into your life. These are the songs that I hold most closely to my heart and share with very few people, because I don’t want them to be damaged. They are like butterflies, gentle and quiet and fragile. They are everything to me.